Eighth Post!

[hoisinsauce]

It's one thing if mankind is hunted to extinction by ChatGPT, but I really do object to being executed by Bing.

(https://secretfanspace.dreamwidth.org/2511.html?thread=3169743#cmt3169743 )

Welcome back! Fandom chat, misc creativity, internet weirdness, books, films, anything! Tell meme about it so we can get to the next post title!

(start a comment thread by replying to this post)

Comments

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Finney Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I am wary of this book. It's a hardback when it doesn't look like it has any reason to be. The font is quite small. Idk anything about one of the authors, Boylan. The other is Jodi Picoult. Imo, she ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

But every so often I try to get through one of these 'gifted to me' unknown books from my to-read pile, so today's the day to be a mediocre author! Who knows, maybe I'll enjoy it. To chapter 1!

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Finney Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I skimmed the first paragraph.

"Oh god I already hate the writing style of this book"

Each vision was a bead on a rosary of future memories; I prayed daily.
As it turned out, I was not a zealot... only a martyr.

Why not add a DUN DUN DUNNNN in there

Such style.

The first para is some sexist stuff about the narrator imagining having a baby girl, but tbf sexist narrator != sexist author.

ALTHOUGH I just looked in the jacket and have noticed one of the authors is a TIM oh noooooo we're off to a bad start lmao.

Maybe I should abort this mission.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Well if nothing else I'm changing the subtitle

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

The narrator inherits an apiary from her dad that she has to manage because her mother is allergic to bees.

This is the kind of book this is.

Am restraining the urge to mock every fucking sentence; am attempting to give it a chance.

But all I can hear in my head is It's Hip To Fuck Bees.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

https://imgur.io/SQDhfWX?r

Oh fucking hell there's 400 fucking pages of this

(I'm on page 7)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

https://imgur.io/XBapLvJ?r

in the worlds of devilman's bestie, fucking hellfire.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

For some reason this book calls the egyptian sun god Re. Never seen it done that way before, it's always Ra. Apparently you *can*, but I think it's an odd choice.

Am distracting myself because I'm only on page 11 and this looks worryingly like it's gonna be a "my son, the lovable TIM" story.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

OTOH if so that's the funniest shit that's happened to me in a while.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

(see also: "the Koran". Come on, nobody has romanized it that way since 1990, write it with a Qu already.)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

On that note, I have decided this would be a better book if everyone in it converted to Islam. I hope the book takes this turn instead. That would be truly unpredictable.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

And no more endless paragraphs about Christmas decorations.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I am not sure what it is that makes me think something is watching me.

And with that elegant sentence, our protagonist sprints across a snowy forest, back to her beehives.

But it is too late.

A bear has attacked and stolen some honey.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I am not joking, this is the plot.

I am rooting for the bear. It's the most relatable character so far. I like that it is not a teenage boy and that it is not trying to be a Cool Mom.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Okay I have criticised other depictions of domestic violence but this may well be the most inept I have ever encountered. Dude goes from 0 to physically violent in a second, out of nowhere. There's no buildup, no emotional abuse, just "happy marriage then suddenly he broke a door on me". It's so rushed it's comical. I guess there must be a fashion for writing dv atm, because this isn't an author-duo that gives a fuck.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

On page 20. It is becoming grimly apparent that every teen in this book wants a sex change. I am hoping I have misinterpreted but I do not think this is a subtle book.
I think this is "Mermaids-style emotional blackmail: the novel", told by a Mermaids-sympathiser. So the main character is a middle aged woman, the type of person Picoult et Monsieur believe they ought to educate. Cynical? Moi? Not as cynical as them. "Terfs care about violence; give our protagonist some violence and show she doesn't have to be terf". Well, if that is indeed what I am reading, then a hearty fuck you is due to the authors. :)

But I judge so soon! Perhaps it will be about killer bees. Perhaps we will see more of the bear. I liked the bear.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Anyway yeah I assume lily is a tim and asher is coming down with a bad case of rogd right about now.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

FIVE THINGS ABOUT MY MOTHER THAT MAKE HER A BADASS

1. Her best friend is me

😬

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

No rogd for asher (so far), but the authors have indeed finally confirmed that lily is male. On page 204. Despite this being obvious 20 pages in, the authors treat it like it's a twist; it is dropped as a bombshell at the end of a chapter by a forensic pathologist in a courtroom, to explain the mYsTerY of why lily does not have a record of a 'female genital system'. Sounds like someone's getting cancelled!

(I flicked back to around page 20, and came across a lovely bit of prose I overlooked the first time:

Words scramble up the ladder of my throat.)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Apologies to anyone who wanted to get through the first 20 pages of mad honey without spoilers. After all, lily first appears on page 8, so it may be possible to go a whole 11 pages without knowing that lily is male (the surrounding characters are all inexplicably ignorant, and remain so, which adds to the comedic tone of the book).

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I am genuinely impressed by just how much shit you've found to complain about in only 20 pages.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

*bows*

I'm having a good time; I think this is the worst book I've read all year. I guess my rants will be split between irl and fanspace, unless I get told off for spamming.

I am now on page 22. Their idea of what mothers aspire toward is just sickeningly immature and insulting.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

This book claims heart of glass is in 7/4. It isn't. (there's a section, but most of the song is 4/4) The 11th doctor theme is in 7/4, so clearly they should have used that. Or agent 9's theme from spyro.

So much of this book feels like it was just Wikipediad onto the page.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Dialogue so bad. Characters so boring. We are meant to find these teens charming because they joke about nobody liking pineapple on pizza. So original. Definitely signs of life and not written by an AI.

Oh well, at least it made me want pizza and now I get to smile at how replaceable-by-AI authors like this are.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Finney Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Haha after your post where you said you didn't know Boylan I was wondering if I should say anything....

But yeah even without that piece of the picture you're probably in for a ride.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Finney Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kind of regretting not having a job as a letsreader, because every paragraph of this book is quotably bad, and it would be great material to spork at a leisurely pace. The use of language is so lazy. Fave so far: "the predators have mostly squirreled themselves away".