Eighth Post!

[hoisinsauce]

It's one thing if mankind is hunted to extinction by ChatGPT, but I really do object to being executed by Bing.

(https://secretfanspace.dreamwidth.org/2511.html?thread=3169743#cmt3169743 )

Welcome back! Fandom chat, misc creativity, internet weirdness, books, films, anything! Tell meme about it so we can get to the next post title!

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Comments

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

There's also more awful and bizarre authorial-musical-knowledge bragging:

"I know he is lying there listening to the sound of my heart pounding like the kettle drums in the molto vivace movement of Beethoven's Ninth.
Molto vivace means very lively."

I think we're meant to be wowed by this.

(There's also an odd bit earlier, where kid is asked if he's applying to a conservatory, and goes "maybe, not sure". Erm, that's a no, then. Music was a bad motif for these particular authors to choose...)

Cut to surgery room. Kid is having the anaesthetic. Meets dr. More of this cringe:

"I'm Dr. Strauss."
"The Waltz King!" I said, thinking, of course, of Johann Strauss, who wrote "The Blue Danube" and "Tales from the Vienna Woods," and all those corny old songs in three-four time.

...

MOVING ON.

They ask tim to count back from a hundred. He does this in German, and I think we're meant to be dazzled by this? This book is a great example of why authors would be wise to be very careful when attempting to write characters who are smarter than they are.

(Sidenote: is the counting a thing? I've never been asked to count while having general anaesthetic, and I've had it like 10 times.)

As the kid drifts off, we get this:

"When I wake up, I thought, the world will be different. In that new world, I would never be sad again."

This book is an accidental terf.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Also it has just hit me that Asher's abusive father is a surgeon. So according to rules of fiction, he's probably found out about liam/lily's surgery somehow. Maybe I overestimated this book and these dumbass authors really did have him kill lily.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

("he" being the father)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

We get more tim backstory. When he was 3 or 4, he said he wanted to dress "like the other girls". He continued to dress in a feminine way as he grew up, and his father was a conservative dick about it. Then other kids also bullied him at school. One day, after a bad bullying incident, his dad gave him a buzzcut, to "make it easier for him". So that night, his mum packed their bags, and left. She waited for the kid's hair to grow back before she enrolled him in a new school, and told everyone he was a girl. But the dad caught up with them, told the other kids that his son was really a boy. The kid was bullied again, culminating in the suicide attempt. After that, the mother took him to get surgery.

So let me get this straight. Cutting your kid's hair off in an attempt to protect him from bullying is the worst fucking evil you can commit, but cutting your kid's *dick* off is to be lauded?!!!!

*screaming break*

Back. So, tim has lived out same jackie green scenario we warn about all the damn time. Mother straight up quotes the infamous mermaids line.

Book continues to be accidental terf.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

(tbf not yet clear if father actually trying to protect kid, or just bullying. Doesn't matter. Still no need to castrate anybody.)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Being in court this morning had already taught me that [tim mom] is a better mother than I am.

Really? *That's* what you took from that?!!

Oh yeah, also, on another note, forgot: earlier in the book, it mentioned that her abusive husband (who beat her for years, dislocated her shoulder and choked her repeatedly) just stopped bothering her completely once she got a restraining order. Oooooookay.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

The defense are now going to summon the doctor who castrated Lily, "Monica Powers", to the stand as an expert witness. "Why?" asks a character, to which the defense attorney shrugs, because sure, that's how real courts work in the real world.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UEGVxLs6Sr0

(Hm, this book is set in 2019 and published in 2022. So maybe it was started in 2019, and that explains how Marci ended up making his celeb appearance. But who knows. Will read on.)

I'm 300 pages in. Only 100 left. I was hoping to finish this trash today, but suspect this readalong may take longer than expected; my eyes are getting tired from squinting at the page to make sure I am seriously seeing this shit.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

(But yeah the main thing I am getting from this depiction of court is that this defense attorney is truly atrocious. Who the fuck puts some random on the stand, some random they haven't prepared, just because. A random who has a connection to the deceased and not to the defendant. And why is he making this case hinge on "nobody knew the dead kid was trans", which even if proven doesn't DISPROVE murder, rather than "the kid fell" or "someone else did it".

The narrator keeps praising the attorney, who is her brother, which makes it funnier.)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

(tried to find more on bowers' stance, made me wonder if I was thinking of someone else, but I think it's just contradictory because he flipflops)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm back and I've brought the bees with me.

*furious buzzing*

Flashback to youngtim, 2 months before death. (Of course this book frames the whole timeline relative to his death. Death cult gotta death cult.)

"I am eating apple pie with cheddar cheese melted on top of it"

NEVER MIND, I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE.

We get a more detailed description of this disgusting dessert:

It is a little bit sweaty, and very gooey, and frankly, sort of nasty.
But surprise: it's ridiculously good.

???????

Guess it makes as much sense as anything else in this book.

Anyway, LOL, because turns out tim's previous bullying transphobic school was in California. AS IF.

flashback to tim's ex. More cheese. Literally, I mean. They spent their dates at a creamery. Wondering if author craved dairy while writing this chapter; no previous chapters have had such high cheese content.

tim and new bf go to an ice rink for a date. tim is paranoid about his big feet. Hrm, do feet actually grow properly for kids on PBs? Gap in my knowledge. Hadn't thought about it, but I'd have assumed since it's a sex difference that finalises when you're a teen, PBs must fuck up your feet, too. Will have to look it up later.

He's a size 10, anyway. He freaks out for a second because the only available skates are black, which apparently means they're men's skates. 🤦

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

"Asher sits in a chair by the fireplace as I play my cello for him. It's "The Swan" by Saint-Saens. I think about the legend of the swan, the one that says that the bird is mute for her entire life, until the moment she's about to die, and then she sings the most beautiful melody in the whole universe, so gorgeous that just hearing it can crack you in half.

It's called a swan song."


I will give all you dans a moment to wipe away the tears that must be cascading down your faces rn.

.

Weeping break over. We get this accidentally terven snippet:

"I worry my mom has spent so much time worrying about me, she won't remember who she is when I leave for college."

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

But the main focus is tim's relationship with the dude on trial for killing him. Tbf, it does look like a bunch of red flags. On their first date they kiss and the bf touches his breast. In the first week, tim takes his top off and bf draws him topless. All seems a bit much too fast. (tim has had 1 bf before and is a virgin)

And then HOLY SHIT WHAT BRB GETTING SCREENSHOT

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

CONTENT WARNING: CURSED CONTENT

https://imgur.io/GIos5UM?r

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks, I hate it.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Whereas I found it thoroughly mucosal.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

tim is then compared to an endangered bird by his munchausens mom. ("They're so beautiful, and so threatened.")

bf sees a photo of tim as a boy, tim lies and claims it's a photo of a dead cousin he's just made up. (tim has now falsely claimed 2 relatives are dead, for anyone keeping track).

more text that unintentionally implies tim is leaping into relationship with bf to get away from overbearing mother, while he lacks the vocab and conceptual tools and distance to express it. I think the authors are just trying to show his mother loves him, though, because they're the sorts to think they need to say that, repeatedly, at great volume.

Characters mention they're gonna get ice cream in West Lebanon. For a second I thought they meant actual Lebanon. This book would be so much better if it were set in Lebanon. The soundtrack would be better, for a start; instead of "Top 10 Basic-Ass Cello Hits", it'd be smoooooth Lebanese jazz. (This nonny happens to have a very romantic picture of Lebanon.) But no forests here. Yet another disappointment of this book.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Flashback to a fencing competition the tim took part in in the past, which his estranged dad crashed. This book is unintentionally doing a very good job of making me feel terrible for the kid's dad:

https://imgur.io/29BlZsu?r

:'(

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

And we discover that tim's ex bf dumped him, NOT for being trans, but for lying and pretending to have been female the whole time they were dating. The other kids have been making fun of ex-bf, saying he's too stupid to notice his gf has a dick. Ex-bf feels humiliated, and so dumps tim.

So, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The text tries to make it sound like ex-bf has thoughtlessly broken a wonderful promise to stay friends no matter what. But their relationship was founded on a lie, so I think he comes out of it fine (at this point. Obviously not with the bullying that we know is to come.)

Also tim mentions that after the whole school finds out, some of the kids are nice to him. Some stare, most ignore him. This book isn't doing the BEST job of depicting the cruelty of teens, or the trans oppression we hear so much about. Would bet a terven teen would have it worse at this school! But then I normally read the "trans" prefix as meaning "not", so that'd explain it.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

(ex bf is not murder bf. Sorry, this is probably confusing as fuck. tim has had 2 bfs. First one dumped him when he found out he was male, and bullied him on prom night. Tim then made suicide attempt. Tim moved, then got with new bf. Then tim got murdered. Culprit unknown, bf on trial. Hth.)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Anyway, we see new bf abuse tim again, grabbing his arm and dragging him because he's talking to another guy. I am pretty much sure this book is gonna go the 'happy ending' route and say that the bf didn't kill the tim, but his behaviour is the best depiction of escalating abuse in the book and he 100% fits the mould, whoops. So from the realism angle, he did it.

But I still think the authors are gonna make creepy!jock culpable instead. Let's see if they surpass expectations!

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Speaking of failing to surpass expectations, another agp interlude:

https://imgur.io/dVu9aG0?r

(Maya does not know tim is tim)

(We all know why these clowns chose the name "Maya" 🤢)

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that is cursed.

Mad science mutilation is so ~quirky and fun~

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

What the actual fuck

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

My understanding is that while girls have their growth stunted by PBs, for boys it’s hormonally more like being a eunuch, and eunuchs keep growing in a distinctive kind of way.

On the other hand, that doesn’t seem to be mentioned much here https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/84/12/4324/2864451 (warning: genitals). This has a bit more on it https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270377933_Skeletal_effects_of_castration_on_two_eunuchs_of_Ming_China but it’s one of those things that I thought was just ‘well known’, which makes it especially odd that people use it on boys who want to be smaller adults. And, of course, it goes along with osteoporosis.

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

The counting may be a US thing. I was asked to count when I had it.

Aside: was thinking while reading the comments that all this felt like New England craziness. Looked up book and authors. It is indeed New England (and New York) craziness. 😎🙂🥲

Re: Books - mad honey (Jodi Picoult, Monsieur Boylan)

[(Anonymous)]

In a way, that's comforting, since I had assumed this madness was US-wide.