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A space to chat fandom! Anon!

Got a WIP you're excited about? Want to rave about your fave? Or is your fandom absolutely in love with a character who detracts from every scene they bumble into, and you need somewhere to vent? You're in the right place!

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From: (Anonymous)

Now reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. Male author, but nonfiction, so I figure it may still be good, plus it's quite short and it started with a great example from Tolstoy to illustrate an idea. So am cautiously optimistic after a run of disappointments by male authors. He's already repeating himself a bit, but I find that happens a lot even with nonfiction I like on the whole.

From: (Anonymous)

Enjoying so far. About halfway through. It's nonfiction about the systems of care that exist for the elderly. Along the way, it talks about how cultural norms around age have changed (or vary from place to place) and developments in research around the subject. It's very moving and interesting; my only complaints thus far are a) an odd sexist comment about activities scheduled for older residents in a nursing home, implying that women are more suited to cupcake-decorating or jewellery-making, and men more suited to books; wtf. b) so far skims over the role women, specifically, have to play in caring. It's acknowledged implicitly via things like statistics, noting that daughters are likely to be the people doing at-home caring etc, but no wider feminist analysis so far. I doubt there will be one, since it's a male author, but it's a big thing to leave out on this subject, imo. Still, I recommend the book so far; it's very very good at articulating the frustrations with the institutional culture of nursing homes and similar environments, and suggesting ways to improve things.

From: (Anonymous)

Finished! Somewhat morbid notes to follow...

Turns out it's not just about care for the elderly, as some chapters also discuss terminal illness. Though there's often overlap. The central idea is about promoting quality of life over having too narrow a focus on extending the length of a life, and also about accepting death as inevitable and planning with that in mind. So it's worth a read because it raises points that are worth giving practical consideration and making one's wishes known about. (eg: under what, if any, sorts of medical circumstances would you rather be dead than alive?) So the last chapters stress the importance of having conversations with others about the realities of certain medical treatments, so that people can get their priorities clear with themselves and plan, and so that their family can feel reassured that they made a decision in line with their priorities.

The book is super super American (there's an ever-present focus on the cost of healthcare and the assumptions that individuals would pay for it, and a simultaneous view that the USA is seen as a world-leader). Mentions of the free market and suchlike. Also the assumption that someone would go into a nursing home by default when elderly and infirm; I think that's a lot more popular in the USA and quite rare elsewhere (he does talk about the India/USA difference, but I think this may be one of those USA/nearly-everywhere-else things. Though tbf I didn't check the stats). There was also a line about a 13 year old being almost too young to be ready to hear about another person's impending death, which I thought was a bit odd.

There's a description of different doctor styles, 'the paternalistic dr' (tells you what to do), 'the informative dr' (throws info at you and expects you to evaluate and choose on your own), 'the interpretative dr' (asks about your goals and tries to find treatment that best fits). In the wake of transactivism, I think we need a 4th, 'the complete charlatan dr'.

The author is from a Hindu family, and thus mentions that when a relative died, he took part in a popular ritual to scatter their ashes on the Ganges and drink some of the river water. I felt like I had a heart of stone since my first thought was 'but hygiene!!!', so I was encouraged/vindicated to turn the page and see the author had had exactly the same thought process (and apparently sometimes the remains of bodies scattered in the river are not properly cremated), had got loads of shots beforehand-- and had still ended up with a tapeworm. He didn't regret doing it, but was reassuring to be right when I felt like a bit of a jerk for my lack of romance, lol.

And yeah, no analysis of the role women, specifically, play in caring. Not surprising, but a bit of a shame. Though one of the book's strengths is that it's short and focused, and tbf that would have made it longer, plus I'd rather it be left out than a non-expert writer just take a wild stab, as men sometimes try when it comes to anything feminist. I do recommend the book, anyway.