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Apr. 8th, 2021 01:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hoisinsauce posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
secretfanspaceA space to chat fandom! Anon!
Got a WIP you're excited about? Want to rave about your fave? Or is your fandom absolutely in love with a character who detracts from every scene they bumble into, and you need somewhere to vent? You're in the right place!
(start a comment thread by replying to this post)
Got a WIP you're excited about? Want to rave about your fave? Or is your fandom absolutely in love with a character who detracts from every scene they bumble into, and you need somewhere to vent? You're in the right place!
(start a comment thread by replying to this post)
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-21 11:49 pm (UTC)https://www.amazon.co.uk/SEXY-FOOTBALL-Peter-Gilmour/dp/1861057946
Still kicking myself for not buying it, just to find out how bad it was. I chickened out because I thought the cashier would judge me.
Summary:
One day, Ralph Goldstein switches on the television to hear Ruud Gullit, former Dutch International and Chelsea player-manager extraordinaire coining the famous phrase 'Sexy Football' and realises how these two simple words sum up everything he believes in. Ralph had long felt that football could be a beautiful, fulfilling, artistic expression of love if we went about it in a positive manner. And by the way, if it was possible to play football in such a fashion, why not live like that too? 'Sexy Football' is ostensibly a novel about football but shoots off at bizarre tangents into many unexpected areas. It takes us in hilarious fashion through some of the thorny dilemmas we all face in coping with the vagaries of existence and, along the way, exposes some of the ridiculous attitudes and curious paradoxes that are ubiquitous in modern life.
Ah, yes, the famous phrase.
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-21 11:54 pm (UTC)OMFG THERE'S A PREVIEW https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sexy-Football-funniest-sexiest-football-ebook/dp/B07Z8BVRZ7?asin=B07Z8BVRZ7&revisionId=&format=2&depth=1
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-21 11:57 pm (UTC)ok wow that may be the most pathetic sexual fantasy i have ever read
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-21 11:58 pm (UTC)and apparently the guy who wrote it is some kind of professional hypnotist or some shit what in the hell
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-22 12:31 am (UTC)so if you've ever wondered what it would be like if a football fan tried to write a memoir combined with lurid fantasy, wonder no more.
We start with some uncomfortable RPF about the author's self-insert fucking kylie minogue while a football match plays, and it's as bad as it sounds. I feel bad for kylie.
I will say that the description of commuting is surprisingly decent, as is the description of a coffee-esque drink and the culture around it. He's clearly just describing stuff from his life but it's well done.
The sex is truly terrible, as expected. As is the football. This is unfortunate, given the book's subject.
We are treated to some intense wangsting, including about how he is the only man with feelings (of course). He mentions things like genocide and globla warming, then concludes that we could solve all the world's problems with 'sexy football'
some kid burns his teacher's house down because why not
then jesus christ we get the author fantasising about getting off with a school nurse as a teen, and if that's not offputting enough, it contains lines like "the fabric of her undergarment was sopping moist" and "it felt a bit gooey".
then more rambling, then the end of the preview, thank fuck
Re: Books - Books that made you wtf
Date: 2021-04-22 12:32 am (UTC)